Well I finally have some good news, I got a job! Back to my previous company but in another department and still doing design, and the same pay rate so I can afford ballet again!!!! I can’t wait to be back!
At the same time of feeling success, I can’t help but feeling sad. I’ve wanted my job back for so long, mainly because it’s semi secure income and a good pay rate, plus I’m getting the coveted industry experience needed for even better jobs. The first few days I was excited and very happy, but today I feel sad. Having to go back to waking up early, spending hours commuting with angry rush hour drivers, and sitting at a desk all day instead of working out, making art and trying to figure out how to gain clients in my photography business. I guess the last one is the worst, I feel like I’ve failed in getting by business off the ground while I had time off. With all the time off I should be a marketing wizard and be getting inquiries daily and booking clients! But I’m not and I don’t understand why. I know it’s not my quality of work, but getting in front of people who are looking for photography services. I feel like I failed myself and my true calling to go back to slaving to “the man” that is corporate business that is only another temp contract.
On the plus side, I have my ballet schedule all laid out and am about to go to some barre and pointe strength exercises so I don’t go back to class weak and terrible! It will be so good to go back to the studio again, even if I do make a fool of myself forgetting combos most of the time, maybe some day I’ll fit in!